THE FIRST ENTRY

nothing comes from nothing. i heard that somewhere. i don't exactly know what it means, it just seemed like a good start and i was gettin kinda antsy. i also dont remember what its from. i expect to find out what movie it was in from a comment which i may or may not have posted anonymously, making my blog look like its been read by someone else.
since everything comes from something i needed a good start to ensure my blog would have no where to go but down. having decided a week ago that blogs are way cooler than any networking tool like myspace or facebook, ive been warming up to the idea of having my own. its like having a myspace (a 'myspace space'?) without looking desperate. i like the fact that no one is looking for dates and i dont have to worry as much about online predation. i know i know, i have been told you can make profiles private on myspace but youre not fooling anyone by trying to have the highest number of friends while seeming more exclusive. thats good marketing is all. besides, im suspicious of anyone over 23 starting a myspace.
anyway since this might be my only attempt i want to make it a good one by setting out some potentially life-changing information for others. id like to take a stand on an issue. something that everyone relates to. none of this ambivalent, politically correctness attempting to sever the link between behavior and personal character. im talking of course about wet wipes.
if you are deliberately choosing not to use them after goin no. 2 you are making a mistake that is not only preventable, but inexcusable. if you have not had the option or taken time to consider the option, you were not accountable before reading this.
please consider this before ignoring the facts. if you got crap on your hands, would you wipe it off with a paper towel or would you use water and soap from your sink? c'mon man, this is simple. a wet wipe is the closest technology to soap and water at our disposal currently. bides are gross and the word, at least here, is probably mispelled and almost surely misread at first glance. it is the only way to get completely clean. with regular toilet paper, you never know man, you just never really know. if you are sick and using the bathroom a lot, normal tp will tear you up. wet wipes get you cleaner and prevent chaffing.
they also cut way back on toilet paper waste. one wet wipe can usually do the work of 4 squares of tp. its better for the planet.
you know what else is better for the planet, you wont smell like crap. just think about the clothes you are wearing and what happens if you sit down or ride a bike without cleaning up.
make sure to purchase flushable wipes. also, a friend of mine will make his own wet wipes when he doesnt have access to any others by taking a wet paper towel into the stall with him.
if you dont believe me, crap on your hand next time and use tp to wipe it off without using water or wet wipes. youll begin to take notice of which objects you use or hold and hopefully reflect on what sort of person you are and want to be and what changes you could make to get there. to simulate the effect on your clothing, wear a glove on that hand after going to the bathroom. if the effects on the glove's smell dont impact your assessment of how clean your jeans are, well, at least i got you to crap on your hand.